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- Review count2
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- First reviewMay 26, 2008
- Last reviewMarch 7, 2009
- Featured reviews0
- Average rating2.5
atariatari's Reviews
Overall rating
4
/
5
If you're into it.
PostedMarch 7, 2009
atariatari
from Minneapolis, MN
If you're into Watchmen or long graphic novels with meaty dialogue and where stuff happens to people on the inside, not so much the outside, then you'll love Watchmen. It's really satisfying and runs really deep, but it's long - At 2 hours 45 minutes it's really really long.
If you don't like movies that have a slow-burn pace or that aren't straight forward, then you'll hate this film.
Yes, I recommend this movie.
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Overall rating
1
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5
Some Hats are Better Left in the Past
PostedMay 26, 2008
atariatari
from Minneapolis, MN
Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a mistake, let's face it. The movie should have taken a lesson from it's own after-school-special morality and let Indiana Jones lie undisturbed in the hallowed grounds of his past awesomeness.
But they had to do it... they kicked over those perfectly crafted action sequences, the classic cocky retorts, and the well-written intrigue... they ruined it and summoned the junk-god to destroy the shrine of our beloved Indiana Jones. Not only has Harrison Ford has gotten too old to pull off the aforementioned cocky lines he once delivered with such a charming, almost unaware bravado, but the entire support cast seemed to falter like stuttering kid at a spelling bee. Karen Allen, once a vibrant, cheeky, hard-to-get, archeo-adventure chick is reduced to a wide-eyed dumbkin who stupidly stares at Indiana throughout the course of the film. Cate Blanchett, normally an on screen genius, is a wildly confusing villainess with conflicting methods and motives. Then there is Shia LeBeouf made into a one-trick-pony greaser who preforms an annoying "wield the comb" bit six-too-many times. John Hurt could have been interesting if it he'd been used to play something more than a jungle crazy who simply points the skull at every problem, which miraculously is always the solution.
All in all it's hard to blame the cast though. They've all had their share of monumental roles and a couple were even in some of "those scenes" -- the ones that have become iconic representations of movies at their best. I have to think that this was a throw away for Steven Spielberg, perhaps the greatest living director, the man who gave more images and visual techniques to the collective conscious than probably any other single person. Many of the lines delivered in the movie seemed to be read right of the page and the insertion of inexplicable CGI gophers at multiple times in the movie for what I can only assume was supposed to be comedy value, was downright viewer-abuse. Other choices - shot sequence, visual gags, set pieces, etc -- seemed to be just Steven phoning it in as if he couldn't be bothered to choose all that Indy-stuff again.
And who would want to with such a urine-poor script to work off of. In addition to the "skull ALWAYS works" motif established as soon as you see the accursed piece of Hot Topic chintz, the script itself is far too explanatory of where Indiana has been all this time. There are constant references to off-screen events that have happened since we last saw our hero. Only thing is NO ONE CARES. This is a new adventure. You didn't hear him talking about the arc (only good cameo by the way) all the way through Temple of Doom right? Most of the first half of the movie was used to tell the audience information about things that were not part of the movie. Using characters to do that for you is a capital offense in scriptwriting. The other major problem with the script was that Indiana Jones was simply dragged through by other characters and other developments. Indy of old wouldn't have stood for that. Indy of old got into situations on purpose and got out them with the perfect mix of skill, luck, and tooth skin. This new incarnation just has junk happen to him and is sort of just there to solve problems that the viewer has put together eight to twelve minutes ago.
To say more would get into spoiler territory, so I won't, but I will say that the big revelations of the movie, save one, are absolutely film school. The previous moral through parable set-up is done and gone. It's now: HERE is moral. Explain moral HERE for folks who didn't plug in. Don't see this movie if you even like the Indiana Jones trilogy. I love Indiana Jones. I love Steven Spielberg. I hated IJatKotCS. In fact, that's the sound I made when I got out if the theater and huddled over a toilet, my head spinning with how-could-they-do-this-es.
No, I do not recommend this movie.
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