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- Review count1
- Helpfulness votes2
- First reviewMarch 8, 2013
- Last reviewMarch 8, 2013
- Featured reviews0
- Average rating1
rmj0572's Reviews
Overall rating
1
/
5
Dead Man Down, Two Thumbs Down
PostedMarch 8, 2013
Dialogue
1
/
5
Special Effects
1
/
5
Art Direction
1
/
5
Acting
2
/
5
Story
2
/
5
Camerawork
4
/
5
This is a chick flick/bromance story and not an action film. January through April is the time when studios crank out their iffy films, desperate to fill the void between summer blockbusters. This movie tries to be too many things (elements of "The Crow", "The Punisher" and other effort-lacking fare come to mind almost immediately).
I don't know how they were able to get some of these actors to participate in this BUTTwipe of a "film", but I guess everybody's desperate for a paycheck these days.
There are very few moments, if any, where the audience is actually engaged in the film. Terence Howard simply cannot be taken seriously with that pre-pubescent voice and for a guy who's supposed to be this insane, powerful drug dealer, he sure seems to look like he doesn't know WHAT THE FUDGE is going on throughout the entire movie.
Armand Assante does his turn as the quasi-Pacino/DeNiro stand-in, but is grossly underused and just seems like he's filling in for somebody.
Colin Farrell really is the same guy in every FREAKING movie. Lost, tortured and angst-ridden. He does a complete about face during this 110 minute yawner where he forgets about his dead wife and child and the entire reason for plotting this revenge scheme, I might add to play flirty-wirty (I fell asleep twice during this showing) with Noomi "The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo" Swedish verison who jumped on a spaceship and took an equally stinking BOO-BOO in "Prometheus" and looks like a post op transgender Rapace), who has her own score to settle seeing as how she had her face disfigured (they say disfigured, I say improved) by what she claims is a DUI but what looks to me like bacon grease burns and is tediously tortured by an army of ghetto little rascals whose mothers are most likely giving sloppy top around the corner in a car somewhere in the setting of urban Queens, where I counted more white people in this movie than I ever saw in Queens during my formative years there. But I digress.....
This movie stinks on so many levels, I actually plan on contacting Colin Farrell via Twitter to get my money back. Best thing about the movie (besides walking out with my girlfriend and her performing the aforementioned sloppy top on me in the car as we were headed home (Bow chikki wow-wow!), was that I got extra rewards points on my premiere card that I can use towards seeing something entertaining next time....
Next up: Oz, The Great And powerful. Man, HECK NO!
I don't know how they were able to get some of these actors to participate in this BUTTwipe of a "film", but I guess everybody's desperate for a paycheck these days.
There are very few moments, if any, where the audience is actually engaged in the film. Terence Howard simply cannot be taken seriously with that pre-pubescent voice and for a guy who's supposed to be this insane, powerful drug dealer, he sure seems to look like he doesn't know WHAT THE FUDGE is going on throughout the entire movie.
Armand Assante does his turn as the quasi-Pacino/DeNiro stand-in, but is grossly underused and just seems like he's filling in for somebody.
Colin Farrell really is the same guy in every FREAKING movie. Lost, tortured and angst-ridden. He does a complete about face during this 110 minute yawner where he forgets about his dead wife and child and the entire reason for plotting this revenge scheme, I might add to play flirty-wirty (I fell asleep twice during this showing) with Noomi "The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo" Swedish verison who jumped on a spaceship and took an equally stinking BOO-BOO in "Prometheus" and looks like a post op transgender Rapace), who has her own score to settle seeing as how she had her face disfigured (they say disfigured, I say improved) by what she claims is a DUI but what looks to me like bacon grease burns and is tediously tortured by an army of ghetto little rascals whose mothers are most likely giving sloppy top around the corner in a car somewhere in the setting of urban Queens, where I counted more white people in this movie than I ever saw in Queens during my formative years there. But I digress.....
This movie stinks on so many levels, I actually plan on contacting Colin Farrell via Twitter to get my money back. Best thing about the movie (besides walking out with my girlfriend and her performing the aforementioned sloppy top on me in the car as we were headed home (Bow chikki wow-wow!), was that I got extra rewards points on my premiere card that I can use towards seeing something entertaining next time....
Next up: Oz, The Great And powerful. Man, HECK NO!
Cons slow, sleep inducing, chick flick, bromance, action movie with little action
No, I do not recommend this movie.
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