Ladies, don't let the brodeo turn you off. Speaking as one who was just as inclined to spend the afternoon with Julia Roberts, I can safely guarantee Expendables is the choice you will not regret. Though it promises violence, explosions, one-liners, and of course the necessary Sausage Fest Mullet Rock soundtrack, it delivers this and much more. Fight choreography is unparalleled and each member of the team contributes a real and human performance, especially Rourke and Statham. Cameo appearances delight and the plot does not leave the audience wondering how such events are plausible as shoot-em-ups so often do. Stallone creates a highly enjoyable experience in a fairly credible world. But let's face it: you're not going to see realism, are you?
My one complaint? Jason Statham wearing too many shirts. Real talk. Throw us a bone, Sly.