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JollyRoger45
JollyRoger45's stats
- Review count1
- Helpfulness votes1
- First reviewDecember 19, 2012
- Last reviewDecember 19, 2012
- Featured reviews0
- Average rating1
JollyRoger45's Reviews
Overall rating
1
/
5
It's Been Done
PostedDecember 19, 2012
Dialogue
1
/
5
Special Effects
5
/
5
Art Direction
5
/
5
Acting
3
/
5
Story
1
/
5
Camerawork
4
/
5
Spoiler alert: It's Been Done. Spectacular New Zealand landscapes -- done. Weird faux-foreign languages that the characters speak for one or two sentences, with subtitles, before inexplicably switching to English -- done. Gruesome computer-generated villains -- done. Gollum -- done to death. By the way, if ANY character needs subtitles, it's Gollum.
"The Lord of the Rings" is a spacious literary trilogy with more than enough background, characters and action to fill three long movies. "The Hobbit" is a small volume, a bit of juvenilia, yet it's being stretched to fill at least two movies, and that just doesn't work. Example: the meeting of the dwarves in Underhill, which should have taken two minutes of screen time, was dragged out for ten. A couple of teens sitting in front of me got up and left. I almost followed them.
The dialogue too frequently lapses into inanity. "Kill the dwarvish scum!" Yes, please.
There are massive holes in the plot. Here's an example from the last reel; Bilbo has already discovered that wearing The Ring confers invisibility, yet he's fully visible as he goes into battle with the chief Orc (Troll, Ghoul, whatever). I'm screaming to myself, "Put on the ring, idiot!"
And how does the company of pint-sized heroes escape? On the backs of giant eagles! I mean, why not? It worked in The Ring, so dust it off and use it again. Personal aside to the screenwriters: I feel your pain. Trying to turn nothing into something must be agonizing.
Did I like ANYTHING about the movie? Well, the characters were interesting, and the actors were talented. It's a shame they didn't have a better script.
In the 35 years since "Star Wars IV," FX have become a cliche. It's now expected that anything a producer can imagine, can be shown on the screen. Eye candy isn't sweet any more. It counts for nothing. What counts is the story. And that's what "The Hobbit" does not have.
Cons slow, exploitative, derivative, boring
No, I do not recommend this movie.
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